


Spiral of secrets

by kolina



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers in later chapters, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), I can't write summary, Mutant Powers, Mutant Reader, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, difficult past, stupid title
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 20:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4235361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolina/pseuds/kolina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're one of the best, if not the best, Hydra's agent. Efficiency, allegiance, and self-confidence are your hallmarks. With your special gifts, you're just irreplaceable. You love your job and the fact you work for a terrorist military organization doesn't matter to you until one day.<br/>That day you get an unbelievable information about your long dead parents then you see as Hydra erase Winter Soldier's memories and from that day something change in you; you begin feel the feelings that you thought you no longer have. Consequently, some time later you decide help him and run away with him.<br/>Story better than summary (at least I hope so)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiral of secrets

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language, don't beat too much. I tried to write it as best as I only could, but I can't assure you it's 100% correct, so if you notice any mistakes feel free to tell me ;).
> 
> First MCU&Reader-Inster fiction ever

You didn’t even move when doctor Jettson pulled out a bullet from your arm. The man laid down a cotton pliers and the bullet on a metallic tray and then he stove for the needle and surgical thread.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want any anesthesia?” he asked, looking at you above his glasses.

“I’m sure,” you responded and shut your eyes.  
  
You bit your lips when the needle came through your skin. It wasn’t nice feeling, but you preferred be in pain now than be weakened for several days later. Although it sounds odd, your body reacted badly to anesthesia. The doctor put the last stitch then he cut off the rest of thread. You opened your eyes and watched as he glued a plaster on your shoulder.

“Try to not wetting the wound,” he said, removing the latex gloves from his hands.

You nodded. You opened you mouth to asked how long you will have stitches, but you didn’t manage ask this question. The door to the treatment room opened and Rollins walked into the room.

“Crossbones wants to see with her,” he intimated, pointing at you.

“No. She was shot, lost blood and then hit her head against wall,” Jettson told him. “She should rest.”

“Crossbones…”

“I don’t care what he said, he has to wait,” the doctor growled. “Or told him to come here.”

Jack ran to him and pushed him into the wall. From his belt he pulled out a knife and he moved the blade closer to Jettson’s throat.

“Let me example you something,” he hissed. “If Crossbones wants something then it has to be as he wants. Trust me, you do not want to see him furious.”

You sighed quietly. Rollins was right. Recently annoying Rumlow was probably the last thing which somebody could do in life.

“Alright, gentlemen, end this shambles,” you spoke, picked up your f/c cardigan, wore it and came closer to them. “I’ll go to him.”

You pulled the agent and left with him the doctor’s office. You were going next to each other saying nothing.

“You didn’t have to save him,” he mumbled. “Brock would find someone new.”

“Indeed but he do his job really good,” you said, peeking at him. “Not what this stupid, blond chick.

Jack laughed, remembering Lorraine White, your previous doctor. You hated each other and you were hamstringing each other whenever you could. She used to stick you on purpose and you used to mess up with her files. Yeah, it was childish, but no one got under your skin more than her.

“Stop laughing!” you snapped and clapped him on his shoulder. “If not her legs and breasts, she’d be dead within a few days.

Rollins calmed down. You were right. The male part of Hydra adored her assets and this was the reason why they were taking her mistakes with a pinch of salt. In the third day of working, she almost medicated one of the best marksman the medicine which he was allergic. Thankfully, his sister was there then and only thanks to her everything ended well. If there was someone else, this person would be dead in the same day but it was Lorry (as you used to call). One smile, one “I’m sorry” spoken with her sugary voice and everything was fine. Enough was enough when she gave Winter Soldier too small dose of hypnotic.

After the battle of the Triskelion, he managed to escape. For two months he succeeded in hiding but he wasn’t used to life for such a long time in shadow. He was caught and brought to the base where they erased his memories and later he was putted again in his cryostasis chamber. Three weeks ago he was awoken and sent on next mission. Although he came back, thanks to Lorry’s lapse he ran away. You felt great relief when Rumlow killed her in front of your eyes, but you felt sorry for the assassin. You knew that when they’ll find him he’ll be in a bad situation.

“Are you okay?” you heard Jack somewhere in the distance.

You combed your hair with your both hand, coming back to reality.

“Yeah, I just…” you stopped in mid-sentence.

You didn’t want him to know what were you thinking.

“Everything will be fine, Rumlow isn’t so furious as you think, ” he said, thinking that possible rage was the reason of your musing.

You smiled lightly and then you stopped next to the door to Rumlow’s office. You knocked and without waiting for an answer, you stepped into the room.

“You don’t have to hide behind Crossbones’ mask,” you mumbled. “It’s only me.”

The man removed the mask from his face and send you his death glare. He pointed to the armchair, giving you sign to taking a seat.

“You should be happy I didn’t take it off earlier,” he growled.

After the attack on SHIELD, his condition was so serious that it was doubtful whether he survive. About his condition knew only you, Rollins and a few other trusted people. When his life hadn’t been in danger anymore, he forbade anyone to talk about this and told all of you about his plan.

Officially his status was unknown and Crossbones was supposed to be the new Hydra’s leader, so you understood his behavior. Crossbones’ identity was a secret. From the other hand, he wanted to see you, so else could come here right now?

“Besides the arm, nothing wrong with you?” he asked calmer.

You shook your head.

“Good,” he answered quietly and stood up. “What the hell were you thinking!?” he screamed at you, hitting the oak desk with his hand. “You got shot like greenhorn! What the fuck is wrong with you!? Anyway, how this happened?”

You let him get rid of excess negative emotions. You knew it’ll help him.

“Did you get the data?” he asked when he calmed down.

“Of course.” You pulled out a flash disk from your jeans pocket.

“So, maybe you finally tell me how they were able to fire at you?”

“I lost concentration,” you said and bit your lips. “Before I killed Andrew, he had said that my parents… that they… that they’d be ashamed of what I do. That I work here. You understand.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“I told him it'd been their choice to work for Hydra and they'd been doing this of their own accord. Next he said I was dumber than he'd through and he called me a puppet, so I shot him. After that one of his associate pulled out his gun and I got shot.” You looked at your boss. “What was he talking about? What is on the flash disk?”

“Forget about this. Andrew said this in order to upset you” he answered, thereupon he reached for a glass, poured into it cognac and handed you the alcohol. “And on the flash disk is probably hidden the composition of serum which was used on Rogers.”

You choked. You were pretty sure that you stole another list with personal data of SHIELD’s agents. What’s a nice surprise.

“It really could be reproduced?” you asked, unable to believe his words.

“I think so,” he answered, sitting down. “If the composition is indeed there, we’ll be able to do it.” He smiled at you. “There’s something more. We have Winter Soldier.”

You lied down the glass on the desk shocked. You didn’t think it will happen so quickly.

“Where was he?”

“In New York.”  
  
“What?”

“One of our informers saw him on station and as soon as she found out he was coming there every day, she tipped off me yesterday and in that way we have our fugitive back.”

“So we’re going to brainwash and freeze him again?”

“And what other we can do? You know perfectly that in that state he endangers not only for himself but also others.”

Brock was right. Winter Soldier was dangerous. Especially since he didn't kill Captain Rogers. It was the first time when the assassin hadn’t finished his task. You have no idea how this could happen. Obviously, you were managed to find out that Steve Rogers and Winter Soldier had a common past, but you were afraid of entering into details. And you couldn't understand how, despite the absence of any memories, he was able to stop himself before killing the icon of America's history.

“When?" you asked suddenly. “When it is going to happen?" you explained, seeing Rumlow‘s quizzical glance.

“In a minute," he answered. ”Firstly I wanted to talk with you," he added and rose. “Are you going too?" he asked, putting on his mask.

You nodded, finished the drink and then you started follow Crossbones. In distance a few meters, leaning against a wall was standing Rollins. Seeing you, he sent you I-told-you-so glance to which you showed him your tongue. Jack laughed and walked over to Brock, starting talk about Winter Soldier. The way to the room where he was was long. It placed on the opposite side of the building, on the lowest floor, hidden deeply under the ground, so after few minutes you stopped listening to them. You spoke when all of you found yourself at the bottom.

“I'll be there where usually," you said, walking into the small room.

Inside there was two young recruits. A women and a man or rather a girl and a boy. They couldn't have more than 20 years. Noticing you, they stand up and saluted you.

“Hail Hydra," they said at the same time.

“Hail Hydra," you answered, coming closer to the one-way mirror.

In the same center of the room was sitting Winter Soldier. He was looking everywhere with unconscious sight. On the left side were standing two scientists, who were working over memory machine and on the right side were Rollins and Rumlow.

“Agent l/n?" you heard a nervous voice.

“Yes?” You turned and looked at the girl.

“I’ve heard about the accident,” she started quietly, glancing down at her shoes afterward.”

“And?”

She didn’t lift her eyes. _She’s scared of me_ , you realized. And just like this ends spending your free time with the most dangerous agents of Hydra and being one of them.

“How do you know that?” you asked too sharply because the girl stepped back frightened. “I asked you about something,” you said calmer.

“When Crossbones brought in Winter Soldier here, he mentioned something about an accident and needing to check what happened to you” the boy responded, peering at you from his notebook. “Anyway, how do you feel?”

 _He's brave_ , it flashed through your mind.

“I’m fine” you replied. “What is your task?”

“We have to write down the course of entire treatment” he responded and sat down before the mirror.

You moved you sight over the girl, who on trembling legs came closer to the glass and took a seat as far away from you as she could.

You turned and glanced on Winter Soldier. His arms were tied to the chair and his head was reposing on the headrest. Just now you noticed his muscles were tense. Like if he had known what will happen soon, you thought. The assassin commoved when the scientists relocated the machine into his side.

“нет," his voice sounded.

One word, no, was enough to ensure you sure in your thoughts. The man knew what was the machine for.

“You shouldn’t have escaped," Brock told him and then he looked at two men. “Do it."

The scientists nodded. The first man put a metallic chew toy in Winter's mouth and gave a sign to his friend. In that moment, the second one pressed a button on a keyboard and the device encompassed brunet's head. Immediately he started shouting. His scream was so loud and terrifying that made your hair stand on end.

Many times you were the reason for which people were screaming, you've seen how the rest of Hydra's people tortures the prisoners and nothing, but that? That was too much. You almost felt his pain. For a spilt second has fallen blessed silence which was interrupted by next scream. You weren’t able to listen to that longer, so you stepped back from the mirror.

“Agent l/n? Are you okay?” the boy asked but you cut him dead and rushed to the door. “Agent l/n!”

You didn’t stop. You were running ahead just to get away from his scream. You got to the elevator and pressed the button with “0” on it. The door closed, however, you still could hear him. The elevator reached the ground floor and stopped. You immediately run out of the building. You leaned back against the wall, breathing deeply. When it didn’t help, you pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from your cardigan pocket. You lit the cigarette and drew on it. You slid on the ground starting combed your h/c hair after a moment.

“y/n?”

“What the hell was that?” you asked, releasing a cloud of smoke from your lungs.

You saw a couple of times how they froze Winter Soldier a couple of times, but it was the first time you had been present at erasing his memories. Yeah, you’ve seen how tired he was after the treatment but you never thought it was so painful.

“Don’t tell me you suddenly have a guilty conscience. You, ruthless Cha, feel pity?” he questioned, using your code name.

“Nope,” you growled, looking at him. “I just needed some fresh air,” you added and stood up, pretending you didn’t notice his outstretched hand.

“l/n, please. I know you through and through.”

“I’m telling you, Rollins, I just needed some fresh air,” you said, putting your free hand on your hip. “I’m in Hydra longer than you. If it wasn’t for me, you would be dead for a long time. My each mission ends in success, so reply to my question. Have I ever done anything to give you the reason to consider my loyalty?

“You haven’t,” he admitted.

“Exactly, in that case…” you stopped talking, feeling acute headache.

The cigarette fell out of your hand and you collapsed into his arms, losing your consciousness.

***

“… she has to rest,” you heard a male voice.

You opened your eyes but around you was too bright. You covered your eyes with your hand, waiting until they accustom to lightness.

“What the…” you mumbled to yourself.

You were lying on a hospital bed and the whole world was moving gently. You growled, feeling pain in your head mixed with tiredness. You slowly sat down, recalling recent happenings. Seeing blood bag attached to your vein, you cursed.

“Agent l/n?” you turned your head towards the source of the voice.

“How long was I out?” you asked doctor Jettson who was looking at you closely.

“Half an hour; give or take. Do you remember anything before you passed out?”

“I was outside, had a fight with him.” You pointed your head on the man who was standing in the corner. “Anyway, what happened to me?”

“Blood loss, exhaustion. Besides, after you were shot, you should rest, not buzzing around the whole base.

You nodded.

“I feel fine, so I can go now, right?” you asked.

The man sighed.

“You’re staying here till tomorrow,” he announced.

“But…”

“Crossbones said if you tired argue, I can tie you.”

You rolled your eyes, hitting your tights with your palms. Sitting here till tomorrow was a complete waste of time. But what could you do?

“Fine. You won. Both of you. I’ll stay here.”

The doctor smiled towards you.

“Take a nap,” he ordered you before turned to Rollins. “Five minutes and don’t make me regret this,” he said and left you with Jack.

Hydra’s agent walked to you then he put his hand on the bed back. You’ve seen he tried say something but every time he opened his mouth, he changed his mind at the last moment. For the nth time he just stopped and started staring at you.

“I wasn’t mean to annoy you," he said for the first words since you were awake.

You didn’t have any change for a respond because he immediately got out of the room. You bit your lips, eying the closed door numbly before you lay down on the bed and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Uff, finally end! I think I should write shorter chapters (of course if you want me to continue this story and deal with my not so good English).


End file.
